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| A Time to Live Surviving Suicidal Thoughts |
| DISCLAIMER: This website is provided as an educational resource and should not be substituted for the diagnosis and treatment of a medical or mental health professional. |
The One-Year Challenge*
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| “I have set before you life and death … Now choose life … ” Deuteronomy 30:19 (NIV) |
In the therapy I did for Social Anxiety Disorder, an extremely important point was made that I will never
forget. The psychologist said that, while I may be in no way responsible for some of the underlying causes
of my disorder, I am the only person that can do anything to address the anxiety. No one can do this for me.
I will expand this thought process to suicidal ideation. You may not understand from where your thoughts
originated. You may have been born into a family of dysfunction or abuse. You may have been severely
mistreated by a current or former significant other. Regardless of the origins, the fact remains that you feel
so isolated and hopeless that death frequently seems more palatable than life. You are the only person
that can do anything to change this situation. No one can do it for you.
Regardless of your situation, I ask you to take 100% ownership of your suicidal thoughts and feelings.
Your very life is at stake.
In John 10:10 (NKJV), Jesus says “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more
abundantly.” Let’s all choose that abundance! It is obviously the best choice.
Taking suicide off the table
What I will now ask of you is the same thing that I asked of myself. For the next one-year period, suicide is
not an option. Take it off the table. Regardless of how often the thoughts come around, and they will come
around, these thoughts will always have to be put on hold. This is your new option list:
At this very moment, I want you to write today’s date below:
My One-Year Challenge begins: ____________ ______ ________
Month Day Year
Nothing to lose and everything to gain
During the next year, your life will require determination, focus and commitment. You have much work
ahead of you. You also have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Did you get that? It is worth repeating.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. By committing the next year of your life to surviving crisis
moments and healing from underlying wounds, you will be giving yourself a second chance at life.
One year from now you will have several meaningful relationships. You will be well on your way to
eliminating depression from your life. You will have made significant progress in addressing the
emotionally painful areas of your life.
Your life has the potential of being much improved just one short year from now. By making a one-year
commitment, you will be on the path to living an abundant life, full of purpose and meaning. You have
absolutely nothing to lose by spending the next twelve months implementing a “how to live plan” instead of
entertaining a “how to die plan.”
How quickly things improve for you will depend on several factors including your dedication to
implementing the ten survival kit strategies, the depth and breadth of your underlying issues, your level of
openness with your counselor and the level of support of those closest to you. The important thing to
realize is that the next twelve months are going to pass regardless of your course of action. In one year,
you will be at the same place that you are now or you will be on your way to the life you have always
wanted. The choice is yours.
Realistic expectations
You need to have realistic expectations regarding your healing. As I mentioned in Chapter 13, The
Professional, emotional healing is much like physically healing. It takes time.
There will be occasions when you feel your last ray of hope has been wiped out. Expect this to happen.
Take a deep breath and give your emotions 72 hours to ease. Use your crisis coping techniques and stick
with your long-term healing strategies.
Never measure your progress by the emergence of a suicidal thought. I can promise you that the thoughts
will still come to mind. Your progress should be gauged over time by the lessening frequency, strength
and duration of the thoughts. By the term “over time” I mean months and years, not days and weeks.
Your Abundant Life
You were created by a loving God to be in relationship with Him and His children. Your purpose is to love
God and to bring Him glory. You are on this earth to tell others about Jesus’ free gift of salvation so they
can decide to reconnect with their Creator. If, at the time of your physical death, you have reconnected with
God, then you will spend eternity in Heaven. These are the wonderful facts of life!
The next time you hear yourself saying, “I cannot continue to live like this, but I do not want to die. Someone
please help me!” Remember that God wants you to experience all He has to give you. Remember that all
of His blessings are waiting for you. Remember that you are the only person who can overcome these
suicidal thoughts. Remember that there is help available for you.
I ask you to persevere with your one-year commitment. I ask you to expect setbacks and not become
discouraged by them. I ask you to focus your attention on the future that you want for yourself. I ask you to
remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is NOT the train coming to run you down. It is
the light that is guiding you out of the darkness.
forget. The psychologist said that, while I may be in no way responsible for some of the underlying causes
of my disorder, I am the only person that can do anything to address the anxiety. No one can do this for me.
I will expand this thought process to suicidal ideation. You may not understand from where your thoughts
originated. You may have been born into a family of dysfunction or abuse. You may have been severely
mistreated by a current or former significant other. Regardless of the origins, the fact remains that you feel
so isolated and hopeless that death frequently seems more palatable than life. You are the only person
that can do anything to change this situation. No one can do it for you.
Regardless of your situation, I ask you to take 100% ownership of your suicidal thoughts and feelings.
Your very life is at stake.
- A new outlook
- Right now, you may be seeing only two outlooks for your life:
- A continued life of pain and misery
- Death
Let’s add a third option to your list and make it the first choice:
- An abundant life
- A continued life of pain and misery
- Death
In John 10:10 (NKJV), Jesus says “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more
abundantly.” Let’s all choose that abundance! It is obviously the best choice.
Taking suicide off the table
What I will now ask of you is the same thing that I asked of myself. For the next one-year period, suicide is
not an option. Take it off the table. Regardless of how often the thoughts come around, and they will come
around, these thoughts will always have to be put on hold. This is your new option list:
- An abundant life
- A continued life of pain and misery
At this very moment, I want you to write today’s date below:
My One-Year Challenge begins: ____________ ______ ________
Month Day Year
Nothing to lose and everything to gain
During the next year, your life will require determination, focus and commitment. You have much work
ahead of you. You also have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Did you get that? It is worth repeating.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. By committing the next year of your life to surviving crisis
moments and healing from underlying wounds, you will be giving yourself a second chance at life.
- Read this listing aloud:
- I will give myself one year to learn to survive suicidal thoughts.
- I will give myself one year of distance from all methods of self-harm.
- I will give myself one year to think more rationally.
- I will give myself one year to have the safety net of a crisis contact.
- I will give myself one year to engage in my favorite activities.
- I will give myself one year to track my thought processes.
- I will give myself one year to learn what activates my emotional pain.
- I will give myself one year to build a network of supportive relationships.
- I will give myself one year to address my underlying depression.
- I will give myself one year to express my feelings to a trusted caring ear.
- I will give myself one year to learn about the abundant life Jesus has for me.
- I will give myself one year because I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
One year from now you will have several meaningful relationships. You will be well on your way to
eliminating depression from your life. You will have made significant progress in addressing the
emotionally painful areas of your life.
Your life has the potential of being much improved just one short year from now. By making a one-year
commitment, you will be on the path to living an abundant life, full of purpose and meaning. You have
absolutely nothing to lose by spending the next twelve months implementing a “how to live plan” instead of
entertaining a “how to die plan.”
How quickly things improve for you will depend on several factors including your dedication to
implementing the ten survival kit strategies, the depth and breadth of your underlying issues, your level of
openness with your counselor and the level of support of those closest to you. The important thing to
realize is that the next twelve months are going to pass regardless of your course of action. In one year,
you will be at the same place that you are now or you will be on your way to the life you have always
wanted. The choice is yours.
Realistic expectations
You need to have realistic expectations regarding your healing. As I mentioned in Chapter 13, The
Professional, emotional healing is much like physically healing. It takes time.
There will be occasions when you feel your last ray of hope has been wiped out. Expect this to happen.
Take a deep breath and give your emotions 72 hours to ease. Use your crisis coping techniques and stick
with your long-term healing strategies.
Never measure your progress by the emergence of a suicidal thought. I can promise you that the thoughts
will still come to mind. Your progress should be gauged over time by the lessening frequency, strength
and duration of the thoughts. By the term “over time” I mean months and years, not days and weeks.
Your Abundant Life
You were created by a loving God to be in relationship with Him and His children. Your purpose is to love
God and to bring Him glory. You are on this earth to tell others about Jesus’ free gift of salvation so they
can decide to reconnect with their Creator. If, at the time of your physical death, you have reconnected with
God, then you will spend eternity in Heaven. These are the wonderful facts of life!
The next time you hear yourself saying, “I cannot continue to live like this, but I do not want to die. Someone
please help me!” Remember that God wants you to experience all He has to give you. Remember that all
of His blessings are waiting for you. Remember that you are the only person who can overcome these
suicidal thoughts. Remember that there is help available for you.
I ask you to persevere with your one-year commitment. I ask you to expect setbacks and not become
discouraged by them. I ask you to focus your attention on the future that you want for yourself. I ask you to
remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is NOT the train coming to run you down. It is
the light that is guiding you out of the darkness.
*Abridged from A Time to Live: Surviving Suicidal Thoughts by Kimberly Andry
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