| A Time to Live Surviving Suicidal Thoughts |
| DISCLAIMER: This website is provided as an educational resource and should not be substituted for the diagnosis and treatment of a medical or mental health professional. |
Strategy 3: Designated Crisis Contact*
| DISCLAIMER: This website is provided as an educational resource and should not be substituted for the diagnosis and treatment of a medical or mental health professional. |
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The Designated Crisis Contact is a person you can signal for help when in crisis. Your predetermined contact person will serve as a much needed listening ear anytime your suicidal thoughts are active. |
| “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:10 NIV |
One of the turning points in diffusing the strength of my suicidal thoughts was when I enlisted a
designated crisis contact person. There was something about knowing I could send up a flare anytime I
needed that took the edge off of my suicidal feelings. You, too, will find a Designated Crisis Contact to be
an essential piece of equipment in your survival kit, for it is when we share our burdens that they becomes
lighter.
Why do I need a crisis contact?
Simply put, your contact person will be someone with whom you can talk when needed. How many times
have you searched for someone to talk with during a crisis moment only to find yourself alone with your
thoughts? Numerous times I have wanted a friendly voice on the other end of the phone just for a chat.
When I would be experiencing a crisis moment, visiting on the phone or over coffee always helped to
distract my thoughts.
In Chapter 2, I shared with you the time that my suicidal thoughts were overwhelming and I knew my life
was in imminent danger. I called everyone I could think of just to chat but no one was available. Everyone
I knew was either not home or too busy with some other task.
The day I met with my counselor to discuss my suicidal thoughts, she had me promise to find someone to
talk with anytime the thoughts were present. I remember thinking to myself that it would not be possible to
call someone every single time I had a suicidal thought because no one would want me calling that many
times per week. I was able to agree to contact my counselor anytime the thoughts were getting out of
hand. I also agreed to line up a friend as a designated contact person that I could call anytime, day or
night, just for a chat whenever the thoughts of suicide were active and I knew I needed a distraction.
Designated Crisis Contact Worksheet
Step 1
List the names of up to 9 people you can call for a chat on a normal day:
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
Step 2
Look over your list from Step 1 and take the following actions:
You have now identified the most critical qualities of the people who would be good candidates for a
designated crisis contact. You want to select a person that you can count on to remain levelheaded when
faced with a potentially stressful situation; a person who does not freak out easily under challenging
circumstances; a person who can easily carry a conversation on their own.
Step 3
Based on your analysis of potential candidates, put the names of your top 3 candidates in order of
most preferred as your designated crisis contact:
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
Step 4
Now you will decide if you want any specific ground rules for these special phone calls or coffee
meetings:
________________________________________________________________________
Step 5
If you want a code word that signals that you are in trouble, select a code word now.
___________________________________________________________________
Step 6
A callback plan needs to be in place so that your contact person can be reassured that you are doing
all right. This also provides an additional safety net for you in the event the suicidal thoughts continue
to escalate even after you have chatted with your contact.
Here is a suggested callback plan:
Step 7
It is now time to contact the person you selected as the best candidate for your designated crisis contact
person.
Step 8
The last step is to look over your lists again from Step 1 and Step 3 and select at least two people as
alternate contacts in the event your designated crisis contact is not available when you call.
designated crisis contact person. There was something about knowing I could send up a flare anytime I
needed that took the edge off of my suicidal feelings. You, too, will find a Designated Crisis Contact to be
an essential piece of equipment in your survival kit, for it is when we share our burdens that they becomes
lighter.
Why do I need a crisis contact?
Simply put, your contact person will be someone with whom you can talk when needed. How many times
have you searched for someone to talk with during a crisis moment only to find yourself alone with your
thoughts? Numerous times I have wanted a friendly voice on the other end of the phone just for a chat.
When I would be experiencing a crisis moment, visiting on the phone or over coffee always helped to
distract my thoughts.
In Chapter 2, I shared with you the time that my suicidal thoughts were overwhelming and I knew my life
was in imminent danger. I called everyone I could think of just to chat but no one was available. Everyone
I knew was either not home or too busy with some other task.
The day I met with my counselor to discuss my suicidal thoughts, she had me promise to find someone to
talk with anytime the thoughts were present. I remember thinking to myself that it would not be possible to
call someone every single time I had a suicidal thought because no one would want me calling that many
times per week. I was able to agree to contact my counselor anytime the thoughts were getting out of
hand. I also agreed to line up a friend as a designated contact person that I could call anytime, day or
night, just for a chat whenever the thoughts of suicide were active and I knew I needed a distraction.
Designated Crisis Contact Worksheet
Step 1
List the names of up to 9 people you can call for a chat on a normal day:
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
Step 2
Look over your list from Step 1 and take the following actions:
- Action 1: Put a checkmark by the names of the people that you consider “levelheaded”
- Action 2: Put an “x” by the names of the people who are not prone to “freaking out”
- Action 3: Put a circle by the names of the people who have a “gift of gab”
You have now identified the most critical qualities of the people who would be good candidates for a
designated crisis contact. You want to select a person that you can count on to remain levelheaded when
faced with a potentially stressful situation; a person who does not freak out easily under challenging
circumstances; a person who can easily carry a conversation on their own.
Step 3
Based on your analysis of potential candidates, put the names of your top 3 candidates in order of
most preferred as your designated crisis contact:
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
Step 4
Now you will decide if you want any specific ground rules for these special phone calls or coffee
meetings:
________________________________________________________________________
Step 5
If you want a code word that signals that you are in trouble, select a code word now.
___________________________________________________________________
Step 6
A callback plan needs to be in place so that your contact person can be reassured that you are doing
all right. This also provides an additional safety net for you in the event the suicidal thoughts continue
to escalate even after you have chatted with your contact.
Here is a suggested callback plan:
- If your crisis call is made between 8PM and 4AM, callback no later than 10AM.
- If your crisis call is made between 4AM and Noon, callback no later than 6PM.
- If your crisis call is made between Noon and 8PM, callback by 10PM.
Step 7
It is now time to contact the person you selected as the best candidate for your designated crisis contact
person.
Step 8
The last step is to look over your lists again from Step 1 and Step 3 and select at least two people as
alternate contacts in the event your designated crisis contact is not available when you call.
*Abridged from A Time to Live: Surviving Suicidal Thoughts by Kimberly Andry
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