| A Time to Live Surviving Suicidal Thoughts |
| DISCLAIMER: This website is provided as an educational resource and should not be substituted for the diagnosis and treatment of a medical or mental health professional. |
Strategy 4: Staying Engaged in Life*
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You will assemble a staying engaged in life plan that consists of 1) ways to stay engaged in life while you are experiencing suicidal thoughts 2) ways to address the balance between pain and coping skills and 3) making plans for the future. |
| “A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 NKJV |
Staying Engaged in Life is your strategic plan for daily existence as a suicidal ideation sufferer. The plan
that you develop will have three purposes.
1) Provide you with the necessary means to stay involved in life while experiencing active suicidal thoughts
2) Restore the balance between your emotional pain and coping abilities
3) Address your look on the future.
This strategic plan will serve as your survival blanket, helping to provide comfort, warmth and protection
during a crisis. You will routinely evaluate this plan for effectiveness and make updates as needed.
Why do I need a daily life plan?
Historically, my own mental and emotional state is healthier when I have things on my “to do” list.
Whenever I do not have a major project at my disposal, I can become severely depressed. It begins with a
feeling of purposelessness and quickly progresses to hopelessness.
I have learned to keep a running list of volunteer activities, hobbies and projects handy to help sustain me
through the difficult down times. The idea is to not let myself to fall victim to depression and negative
thinking that sets in during idle times. Regardless of how depressed I may feel, it is essential I stay
involved in life.
When we experience the depression that brings suicidal thoughts, our tendency is to want to withdraw
from the people and activities we normally enjoy. The more isolated and less involved in life we become,
the harder that it is to work through and move past our crisis moment. I have learned over time that during
a meltdown, not only is it critical that I stay active and involved in life, but it is also critical that I avoid any
additional sources of stress in my life. During these times, you will be best served by delaying major life
decisions, avoiding aggravating people, and staying away from stressful situations.
Over the years, I have read about suicidal thoughts being the result of pain exceeding one’s ability to cope
with that pain. This makes a lot of sense to me. I have learned that to counter my thoughts, I must take
steps to reduce my emotional pain or increase my ability to cope with that pain. You will also need to
address the balance of your pain and coping ability.
Another key to everyday life is to always have several future activities planned. The idea here is to always
be looking forward to one or more activities. This will require a bit of planning but it is important for you to
have upcoming activities to which you are looking forward. It is more difficult for serious suicidal thoughts
to come into play when you are focusing on future life plans.
Plan Overview
When I learned of the relationship between pain and coping ability, I put together my first Staying Engaged
in Life Plan. I took two pieces of paper and made two lists. One list was of ways I could decrease pain. The
other list was of ways I could increase my coping ability.
For the strategy to be effective, you will need to do three things:
- Develop a solid plan
- Implement the plan during crisis moments
- Evaluate and adjust the plan after crisis moments
During the developmental phase, you will compile the elements of the three strategic areas:
- Staying involved with life during active crisis moments
- Managing the balance between emotional pain and coping ability
- Focusing on the future
After the key elements are in place, the next step is to learn how to implement the completed plan during
crisis moments. Lastly, you will learn how to evaluate your plan’s effectiveness so that needed
adjustments can be made. Use the following Staying Engaged in Life Worksheet to prepare your
personalized plan.
that you develop will have three purposes.
1) Provide you with the necessary means to stay involved in life while experiencing active suicidal thoughts
2) Restore the balance between your emotional pain and coping abilities
3) Address your look on the future.
This strategic plan will serve as your survival blanket, helping to provide comfort, warmth and protection
during a crisis. You will routinely evaluate this plan for effectiveness and make updates as needed.
Why do I need a daily life plan?
Historically, my own mental and emotional state is healthier when I have things on my “to do” list.
Whenever I do not have a major project at my disposal, I can become severely depressed. It begins with a
feeling of purposelessness and quickly progresses to hopelessness.
I have learned to keep a running list of volunteer activities, hobbies and projects handy to help sustain me
through the difficult down times. The idea is to not let myself to fall victim to depression and negative
thinking that sets in during idle times. Regardless of how depressed I may feel, it is essential I stay
involved in life.
When we experience the depression that brings suicidal thoughts, our tendency is to want to withdraw
from the people and activities we normally enjoy. The more isolated and less involved in life we become,
the harder that it is to work through and move past our crisis moment. I have learned over time that during
a meltdown, not only is it critical that I stay active and involved in life, but it is also critical that I avoid any
additional sources of stress in my life. During these times, you will be best served by delaying major life
decisions, avoiding aggravating people, and staying away from stressful situations.
Over the years, I have read about suicidal thoughts being the result of pain exceeding one’s ability to cope
with that pain. This makes a lot of sense to me. I have learned that to counter my thoughts, I must take
steps to reduce my emotional pain or increase my ability to cope with that pain. You will also need to
address the balance of your pain and coping ability.
Another key to everyday life is to always have several future activities planned. The idea here is to always
be looking forward to one or more activities. This will require a bit of planning but it is important for you to
have upcoming activities to which you are looking forward. It is more difficult for serious suicidal thoughts
to come into play when you are focusing on future life plans.
Plan Overview
When I learned of the relationship between pain and coping ability, I put together my first Staying Engaged
in Life Plan. I took two pieces of paper and made two lists. One list was of ways I could decrease pain. The
other list was of ways I could increase my coping ability.
For the strategy to be effective, you will need to do three things:
- Develop a solid plan
- Implement the plan during crisis moments
- Evaluate and adjust the plan after crisis moments
During the developmental phase, you will compile the elements of the three strategic areas:
- Staying involved with life during active crisis moments
- Managing the balance between emotional pain and coping ability
- Focusing on the future
After the key elements are in place, the next step is to learn how to implement the completed plan during
crisis moments. Lastly, you will learn how to evaluate your plan’s effectiveness so that needed
adjustments can be made. Use the following Staying Engaged in Life Worksheet to prepare your
personalized plan.
*Abridged from A Time to Live: Surviving Suicidal Thoughts by Kimberly Andry
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